At the age of 24 I became so ill and for about a year my doctors in Connecticut seemed to be grasping at straws with me. Then one night I fell to the ground in executing pain my sweet little Bessy crying and staring at me mommy what's wrong mommy, it brings tears to my eyes now as I remember and writing about all these events are harder than I thought, but I am going forward I am an overcomer and survivor so no need to be afraid now. Now an ambulance was called and off to the emergency room and the first thing that had to be done was to sew up my knees because when I fell I cut them open and both needed stitches and the doctor is looking at me and saying what could make a young woman fall so hard she burst her knees open.
So here we go with questions and tests and more questions and blood taken :( hate blood tests and then after hours the doctor came in and said I needed to have exploratory surgery and so here I go on the omg (oh my god) roller coaster at anytime in our life when danger knocks on the door we go into the am I going to die oh my god no I have a whole life to live but I am in this hospital and they look serious and things are out of the normal sickness routine akg. flu,colds etc... The surgery happened with in hours and the diagnose was that it looked as though I had had an tubule pregnancy in the right ovary and edometriousis was present along with fibroid tumors with excessive scarring and Pelvic inflammatory disease was now set in because of the long period of time that the miscarriage had taken place and this was going to take several operations for the doctor to be able to do a complete hysterectomy. This meant that I now needed someone to live in with us to care for Bessy and that I would need in home care for sometime myself.
Well each operation something was taken out and each took a great toll on my physical being and the emotional roller coaster ride we go on in time of war. I became very week and radiation treatment was given for 6 wks at 2x because tumors where present with so much infection the radiation would kill any cancerous cells.
Let me say this treatment is treatment and having to go though this was scary and I needed my dad and mom right now I needed the two people in this world that loved me and that would go beyond the norm to see me through. So I call momma I explain what has happened and she said "now if you need us we will come and I laughed and said momma I thought you was already here" and let me tell you they were there in days because my daddy was not flying on no plane so a road trip was necessary and on they came and let me say the day they got here I was ready to go home. But a strength like no other came over me I knew with them there I was going to be okay and I knew life was still good and that there love would see me through a dark hour many dark hours. One thing about it the love of a father and mother for a child there is no greater love (It's God's Love for us "unconditional") other than God's love. I couldn't even see then but I heard them talking to Bessy out in the hallway of the hospital and inside of me jumped and I sat up in that bed as if I had conquered this thing already. ;) happy tears finally for me.
Several operations happened and I got real sick from radiation and even though dad and mom came they had to return home (24 hrs was between us) but that love that they gave me made me want to go back home and the day they left I want to leave too but I couldn't leave Connecticut, so I talked to the doctor and he said I had to stay through the radiation and get me to the place of having full hysterectomy which I could have at home (Missouri) and a plan was set in place and let me say from that point things was better for me and Bessy (I almost sent her home with dad and mom) but I needed her I needed the one I loved unconditionally the one I had to live for and see her though (no way was I leaving her she was the light of my life the day she was born and nothing going to take it away from her and I) nothing. We asked a friend of ours to come and stay to care for Bessy (Joan) and so onward we jugged through little by little step by step breath by breath.
Now in Missouri home at last and final operation scheduled and at the age of 24 years old I had a complete hysterectomy and months later regained my life back, but I had to be at home the home born and bread in me to get me through the end and give me the hope and love to finally overcome this illness. Little did I know it was only the beginning for the fight for my life.
Ricky and I have been together for years and in the first 10 years he was a alcoholic he was sick his self and couldn't help me he needed his own help and this made me sicker to have to live through all the hurt and pain we suffer from life altering events. His dealing was at the bar or leaving for days at a time to unknown places he felt for himself not others so he couldn't feel me or get me through I literally had to leave Connecticut without him and dad and mom had to come and get me and Bessy, but hallelujah they did and it was hard and ;( sad tears to have to live so hard. But today he has been sober for years now and in the darkest hour you will see and feel my man come to life and go through our darkest hour in grace and love and overcome even more life threatening moments that has come our way.
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