Thinking!

I know I have not been posting and I have been going through a lot of thinking on things and about HD and I feel the effects in my life daily and some I can be ok with and others I hate. I notice many things and the things that really bothers me is my ability to get so upset on stuff that normal people pass off and I seem to not be able to do that and it hurts me more than words can express.

I feel like I am living in a cage and cannot get out of this and the truth is I can't and it is driving me inside and I am dwelling lots on it and I know I need to try not too, but the fact is I have HD and that is the way its going to be now and forever with one exception it gets worse and I feel alone with it very alone.

I see now why momma became so upset with us we just had to have something to say back to her because we was putting our own selves before her and she was not in control and could not help how she was acting and I am hoping my family and I could step back and realize I have no control when it happens it just happens and its HD it is a sickness and thats part of it and I can't stop it if I could I wouldn't have HD. People who don't care to educate themselves to help out a family member and gain a better understanding of this disease causes those of us with it more agony and pain. You must realize we have HD we know those things that are our weaknesses just like the rest but for you, you can go back and stop and we can not it's HD.

I feel afraid sometimes that I won't be taken care of in the end because just like momma by the time we got there with her everything was PERSONAL. Everyone wants to be RIGHT and when we learned she has HD we stopped and we let her be in peace. So just because I am in the beginning stages I have those same weakness just not has progressed as momma but they are real and they have great control over some situations and my mind is one of them.

Please educate and help us those with HD live a longer more peaceful life.

Comments

[Karen]

Such moments are the ones when it is important to have hte nearest and dearest beside you. They are the only ones who can help and ingrain hope.