You say try not dwell you can be better you can stop at anytime and be NORMAL that is what your asking of someone that is sick. Deal don't dwell get over it grow up be big and strong believe in Jesus and he'll heal you or oh no wait your cursed your family is a cursed you must rid your life of this horrible curse. OMG, are you really hearing what I'm hearing and feeling from fear adn denial here I am trying to face this headon and be in reality about this and try to keep a grip on it (lol) right if I could do such a thing I WOULDN'T HAVE HD and because I have been strong and overcomer and aggressive and above fear of my life fought that cancer and won what a joke. I lost HD has been here the entire time of my life making things harder and laughing waiting for me to come out of the dark into its wonderful light of knowledge to know that it has opened up things into my life that will go far beyond reason and NO I don't get up and dwell on who I want to upset today or be angry just because I like it and want to have bad life and be a bad person. Why would anyone want to think the worst of someone.
Now my heart cries for Momma and how she suffered so and us her family turned against her so we could feel justified in only our own feelings and not hers after all this is what this tit for tat stuff is and one is going to be right and the other is going to be wrong and that is how the world goes round and la t da. I'm pissed off right now that I have to deal with my own family with this stupid crap wait no I CHOSE HD for ME so I deserve it and now I get it, your right and I'm wrong there I said it Happy now because I want to make sure all the WELL people are happy now.
You say nothing more to me and be still, because until you can walk a day in my shoes and still be breathing that's reason enough for you to leave the HD stuff to me and you set your feelings on the back burner just has you chose to do when I was fighting CANCER or any other sickness in my life. I'm a little tired here of being super conquer of nothing because the fact is HD is HERE and this is the sweetest and most beloved time compared to what it is going to become so enjoy your day just as you told me to do since it's a choice for you, BUT FOR ME IT'S A DISEASE THAT'S EATING AWAY AT MY BRAIN EVERYONE SECOND OF THE REST OF MY LIFE. See I'm Happy now Real frickin Happy. It's like this a person with alcholism or drug addiction is sick and it's beyond them to help themself without professional help so when people expect me to be NORMAL what a joke and how must you really think that makes me feel or helps me through a hard moment in our day together, oh wait it was about you being right not about me having HD so in the name of Jesus when did I become so powerful enough to take control over myself, oh yea your in denial or your in HD land were it wants you to believe less in me because you can't deal with HD because it's to hard for you even if it's killing me and I'm trying to face HD on my own sorry to have bothered you I will truly try to get rid of this perky little tiny problem but it won't be today or tomorrow or 100 years from now so I'm just a terrible person because I just can't get a good enough grip on this thing like you think I should or expect me too. WOW Had alot on my spiritual being that is trying to help me stay NORMAL (NOT) Realistic is what my spirit man says don't put yourself up for the fall everyone else will do that for you but instead lets get a little knowledge of what your up against and lets get yourself aware atleast that the wall is going to break more and more and more untill it collaspes and there is no more house or me because HD took away me the day I was born with it in ME.
Well to conclude its HD its the BEST I CAN BE so take or leave it but just don't BELIEVE what it has said through ME. I CRY because you want to BELIEVE IN HD instead of ME your MOM, SISTER,FRIEND I thought you could LOVE ME through this but its harder than we all thought because HD has no spirit just an agenda to tears us apart and take away ME.
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